–Sen. Barack Obama, on revelations that he and Dick Cheney are eighth cousins.

“My job is a decision-making job. And as a result, I make a lot of decisions.”

–The Decider, George W. Bush

“The phony soldiers.”

–Rush Limbaugh, on U.S. service members who support withdrawal from Iraq

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, um, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq and everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future.”

–Miss South Carolina Teen Lauren Caitlin Upton, after being asked why 1/5th of 1/5th of Americans can’t locate the U.S on a world map.

…And the second “Are you kidding me…They really said that?”:

“As you know, my position is clear — I’m the Commander Guy.”

–George W. Bush, the president formerly known as “The Decider” (Watch video clip)

“A year ago, my approval rating was in the 30s, my nominee for the Supreme Court had just withdrawn, and my Vice President had shot someone. Ahhh, those were the good old days.”

–President Bush at the Radio-TV Correspondents’ dinner (Watch video)

…and again thanks here:

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/blquotes.htm

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“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president,”

– Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it,”

– A congressional candidate in Texas.

“I don’t feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves.”

– John Wayne

“I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.”

– Dan Quayle

“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”

— Lee Iacocca

“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.”

– Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

“Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”

— Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

Are you kidding me?:
“If we let the loggers go in and cut down all the trees we wouldn’t have a problem with forest fires.”

– George Bush

This time thanks to these guys: http://millionidiots.tribe.net/thread/e8ffe5e5-0e77-4bcf-ae9a-61974a9e4b72

“Yes, maam? Right here, this lady. No, she! Yes, right, second row. Next to the guy in the blue shirt, holding her left hand up. It’s a he? Sorry about that. Gotta be careful. I’m very sorry. Go ahead! I’m, excuse me, I’m very sorry. Go, ah, I, a thousand apologies, go ahead.”
- George Bush Sr., Former U.S. President, at a press conference

“It is white.”
- George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London

“I didn’t realize I was in a Buddhist temple.”
- Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President when asked about his illegal fundraising activities that took place in a Buddhist temple.

“People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.”
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

“It isn’t pollution that is hurting the environment, it’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

“A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money.”
- Everett Dirksen, Congressman

“How can a guy this politically immature seriously expect to be president?”
- Franklin D. Roosevelt, Jr., assessing John F. Kennedy’s chances in the 1960 U.S. election

Love This one:

“Give Bill a second term, and Al Gore and I will be turned loose to do what we really want to do.”
- Hillary Clinton, former first lady, at a Democratic fundraiser

“Whoever designed the streets must have been drunk… I think it was those Irish guys.”
- Jesse Ventura, Minnesota governor

This is one of my personal favorites…

“I don’t think that Saddam Hussein is deliberately starving his own people. I would think that a man who gets 99 percent of the people to vote for him in an election and the people love him so much, how would they love a man that is starving them?”
- Louis Farrakhan, Leader of The Nation of Islam

“We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally.”
- Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister

Wow…I’m physically exhausted. More to come….

…and thanks to these guys: http://www.amusingfacts.com/stupid/

Introducing the “Function in Society Card” – FISC

It’s very simple actually. Everyone in America gets a card they hang around their neck. For every event in society that you wish to participate in – you have to take that class. Once you take that class – and execute a series of practical exercises – you have the right to undertake that event in society…If you want have children, for example, you take the “How my kids should act in public” class, and you are certified to have kids…Some classes do, however require prerequisites…

Example: If you want to go to a restaurant – you first have to take the “I’m able to conduct myself in a civilized manner in public” class.

If you want to say – work in customer service – you have to take the “I know how to talk to people and not be a condescending jackass” class.

you get the idea…

Once you have all your little classes and practical exercises punched on your little card – you become what’s called a “Master Of Society” (at which point you’re authorized to shoot people in the back of the head for violations of the Function In Society Card.)

Let’s take it to congress and weed out all the idiots…

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read more | digg story

Introducing the “Function in Society Card” – FISC

It’s very simple actually. Everyone in America gets a card they hang around their neck. For every event in society that you wish to participate in – you have to take that class. Once you take that class – and execute a series of practical exercises – you have the right to undertake that event in society…If you want have children, for example, you take the “How my kids should act in public” class, and you are certified to have kids…Some classes do, however require prerequisites…

Example: If you want to go to a restaurant – you first have to take the “I’m able to conduct myself in a civilized manner in public” class.

If you want to say – work in customer service – you have to take the “I know how to talk to people and not be a condescending jackass” class.

you get the idea…

Once you have all your little classes and practical exercises punched on your little card – you become what’s called a “Master Of Society” (at which point you’re authorized to shoot people in the back of the head for violations of the Function In Society Card.)

Let’s take it to congress and weed out all the idiots…

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“The right guy won and I’m fine with that,” Beckett wrote in a text message from Texas. “It was a great year and the only people I want to impress are my teammates, and if they would have had votes, I would have won. So when I lay down and thank God for blessing me, I will sleep well, and tomorrow I will be up early for some deer hunting.”

Classy guy…now go shoot some buck.

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“The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.”

Willem de Kooning

Okay – here goes – my first feeble attempt at a review:

Gordon Vincent is the real deal. This guy’s the epitamy of what the Nashville music scene is: A massive trench of raw, dynamic, undiscovered talent…real talent. No were else in the world can you find so many brilliant artists. Not your underground get-together-on the weekend acts that can be found in every garage across America – but people who can actually carry a melody and play their instruments. From his raucous blues licks to the rhythmic lulls on Nobody But Myself To Blame, you’ll be hearing his name later…and he plays mean harmonica. Think I’ll just let Nashville Rage sum it up, cause I can’t do it any better: “Springsteen arm-wrestling Tom Waits in Bob Dylan’s kitchen…” See below – from his web site…and check it out for yourself…

“Chosen by Billboard Magazine as one of the top independent artists in the United States, Gordon Vincent is a singer-songwriter on the cutting edge of something! His blend of alternative-blues-Americana-roots-rock has inspired people to describe him as “Springsteen arm-wrestling Tom Waits in Bob Dylan’s kitchen” (Nashville Rage); a stripped down Dave Matthews, and even once, as “a young Robert Mitchum with a guitar.” His own heroes range from Jack Kerouac and D.H. Lawrence to Jimmy Page and The Beatles. Gordon Vincent grew up in the working-class shadows of the North Jersey oil refineries. Provoked by the success of his first CD, You Should Know, on Hornepayne Records, his follow-up, Ringer is due out this summer. Currently dividing his time between Nashville and New York, Gordon’s first CD, You Should Know, is available on CDBaby.com.“

His second album Ringer – is also available on cdbaby.
movingpictureguy

http://www.myspace.com/gordonvincent

http://cdbaby.com/cd/gordonvincent2